Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dear Single Friends...

So you are in that stage where everyone around you seems to be getting married, it doesn't even help that the whole summer season is referred to as the wedding season. Sometimes it seems like everyone is flashing that awesome life step in your face and somehow you begin to feel left behind. Plus your parents (if they are like mine) are probably not helping that much with the "So when are we attending your own wedding?" question they ask all the time you go out to celebrate your friends wedding.

I never went through that but some part of me understands and I'm writing to tell you that it's going to be okay...really, you'd be fine.

You see, if life has taught me anything, it's what Solomon talked about in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a time for everything; a time to be a teen, a time to be single and a time to be married. And no stage/phase/time is more important than another...every stage has to be lived.

I've found that real happiness and fulfillment is not really about a certain phase of life, it's not about marriage, or motherhood or the next phase you are aching to get to. In fact, I believe joy comes when we learn to enjoy every phase we find ourselves in. You may look back and prefer some life phases to others, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are "better" because every phase is necessary to get you to the next.

So single ladies, ENJOY!

Now is the time to get your awesomeness together, to have your slumber parties, to go on dates, to meet people, not necessarily those who want to get involved with you romantically, but also those who would end up being friends for life, being your allies in the corporate world, or even those who you may end up sharing your nursing home with! lol!

Now is the time to think of your career path, explore all your options because let's face it, all you have to think of right now is really you. Focus on You, because when the man comes and the kids start rolling in, most likely that attention would be divided. To pull through such a time as wifehood, motherhood and the rest of the future hoods, you have to have gotten total security in just being you - the single you.

Oh you think being married is all about posting cute selfies on Instagram and decorating your home with fun photos (I'm currently side-eyeing myself here), no it's not. Just as single life has its challenges, so does the married life. You have to enjoy both in the good times and endure both in the challenging times. You can't be looking to marriage to take away your problems, if you can't figure out how to pull through the single life challenges, what makes you so sure you'd be able to pull through those of the married life?

I understand where you're coming from though...I really know the feeling of being ready to move to the next stage, but what you are ready for doesn't seem to be showing up...trust me, I know (side-eyeing unemployment here). But when all your focus and energy is on that next stage, there really is no much focus and energy left to enjoy the present stage, and that's how frustration and stress could easily creep in.

Hunny, no man or future child wants a stressed out or frustrated wife/mother.

So single ladies...Enjoy your singleness!

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As my friend's wedding comes up shortly and I write her my well wishes for her upcoming nuptials, I couldn't help but think how different my message would be to my single friends. It would be different but the underlying message would be pretty much the same - Enjoy it!

This is my letter to my single friends, a letter that was inspired by another letter to my about-to-be-married friend :)

PS: I need to learn how to enjoy this crappy unemployment phase and not become stressed/frustrated. If you have any tips, I'm listening! 

6 comments:

  1. Enjoy ur unemployment cus when u get a job, u would wish everyday is a vacation.

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  2. Oh my!!! That's definitely a word for me! Currently unemployed and wish I wasn't. Thanks for the reminder!!! Ill enjoy every single day as from now! No more complaining!!!

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    1. Yeah, complaining is definitely a drag. I have to remind myself of this every time! All the best with your job search. xx

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  3. Awwwww... my roomie of life.. we are more alike than we know. You said it all. Like totally.. single ladies enjoy.. lol Esp focusing on just you... and nobody else.

    As for unemployment I can only imagine how soon you would want the face to disappear... but you can focus on your blogs and whatsthefuss cos right now you have all the time... cos some of us do not have the luxury now.. so many draft post etc... I want to quote scripture but I know you know it... God's got you ....xoxox

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  4. Roomieeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece, no shock that we are more alike than we know! hahaha! Thanks for the encouragement doll, yes, God's got me :D

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